Defining Middle Age-Revisited
Gimme A Minutes-First Post
I recently went to my first physical with my new doctor. She seemed to take great pains throughout the visit to remind me of my age and everything that comes with it. For example, the doctor informed me that, despite the fact that I do not wear glasses, I really should get an eye exam because “your vision begins to weaken after age forty.” The doctor was also very adamant that I get my first colonoscope next year, when I turn forty-five. She even set a reminder for office to call me next August to ensure that I had scheduled an appointment. (No way this will have happened by then.) While the doctor was very professional, she was working from a mistaken assumption. She seemed to believe that I was middle aged.
This experience reminded me of the very first post I published on the “Gimme A Minute” Substack. It was titled, “Defining Middle Age.” In the post, I analyze the Collins Dictionary definition for the term “middle age.” I break the parts of the definition down, and try to provide a little additional insight. With the one-year anniversary of the “Gimme A Minute” Substack just around the corner, I thought this was the perfect time to revisit this original post. Particularly, since my physician had recently misdiagnosed me as “middle aged.” Completely understandable given the age on my driver’s license. But, it is, none the less, inaccurate. After all, as I point out in “Defining Middle Age,” “middle age is only ‘usually considered’ to be 40 tp 60.” I, myself, am very unusual, and so that rule of thumb clearly does not apply to me.
Defining Middle Age
The best definition for the term “middle age” that I could find comes from Collinsdictionary.com. The beginning of the definition states, “middle age is the period in your life when you are no longer young but have not yet become old.” The great thing about the start of this definition is that it doesn't tell you what middle age is, it tells you what it isn’t. This is the same way I describe being 5’9.” The Collins Dictionary definition for 5’9” would begin, “5’9” is the height where you are not really short, but you are not actually tall.” The acknowledgement of this vague middle ground is crucial to the definition.
The opening sentence of the middle age definition is a great start because it is stalling for time without really committing to any specifics. This is the “let me check my calendar and get back to you” of definitions. Is there anything that epitomizes middle age more than actively trying to avoid committing to something unnecessarily?
Of course, because a one sentence description of the term would be utterly ridiculous, the definition continues. The second sentence in the definition states, “Middle age is usually considered to take place between the ages of 40 and 60.” While this gives more detail, it does so only grudgingly and with little commitment. After all, middle age is only “usually considered” to be 40 to 60. That phrasing means, those might not actually be the ages for everyone. For example, even though I am 43, I am not really middle aged. But, Facebook shows me that the people with whom I graduated from high school and college are middle aged. That “usually considered” really comes in quite handy.
The best part of definition is the example sentence that comes after the description of the term. The example sentence states, “Men tend to put on weight in middle age.” This sentence is great because it does three things:
It uses the term.
It does nothing to clarify the meaning of the term.
It contains a cutting observation that makes a segment of the readers feel bad about themselves.
The last part is really key to the whole definition because it conveys the subtle sense of creeping decay that is so central to middle age.
This is a great definition overall because, like so much of middle age, it is vague, non-committal, and slightly insulting. It’s the coworker who doesn’t really want to answer your question, so they give you a couple of brief half-responses. Then they make an off the cuff statement to distract you and raise your anxiety. Oh, you want to know what middle age is? Well, it’s not when you're young, but also not when you're old. Maybe fortie…fiftieee…Hey, did you put on some weight? This is a brilliant approach to defining terms. You walk away feeling wrong for even looking it up. It is as if you bothered the Collins Dictionary people with your asinine question. You’re middle aged after all, you really should have known better than to ask.
This is the exact type of answer you deserve for looking for a definition of middle age. Because, when you start Googling phrases like, “What is middle age?” You are, in fact, middle aged. At least, you are “usually considered” to be middle aged when you Google the term. Luckily for me, I was just doing research for this essay, so the definition doesn’t really apply to me. That “usually considered” really does come in handy.
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