Revisiting: The Road Warrior
Hello Gimme A Minute Readers,
I have not been able to post as much as I would like lately. There is a lot going on personally and professionally that has been taking up the time I usually dedicate to this Substack. (Some of these things should make great topics for upcoming posts.)
For the time being, let’s revisit this post from last March. With Spring right around the corner, “walking season” is about to start in earnest. (Given how little snow we’ve had this winter, I’ve gotten quite a few in over the last few months anyway.)
Enjoy!
Spring is finally upon us. The days are getting longer. The air is getting warmer. The snow and ice have all but melted. And, the open road stretches out before me.
You see, I am a true Road Warrior. The asphalt is calling to me, and I need to get out there.
As I am sure you have picked up on by now, one of my great passions in life is going for walks. There are few things I enjoy more in life than lacing up my New Balances, and setting out on foot at a very reasonable pace. And, I know I am not alone in this. My dog spends much of her day sitting in the front window staring out at the road. As an avid supporter of walks, she cries out in envy whenever she sees someone walking down our road. If dogs love it, you know it is a great activity.
And, the health benefits of going for walks are great. Not only is walking a proven way to keep off extra weight and stay fit, there seems to be mental health benefits to getting outside for a walk. Low impact cardio that improves mood, reduces stress, and costs next to nothing! You would imagine this would be a hugely popular and respected sport.
Unfortunately, in that belief you would be mistaken. Sure, billions of people walk each day. But, most of that walking is purely utilitarian (getting from Point A to Point B). Still, plenty of people go for exercise/leisure walks each day (like myself). However, we are not afforded the respect of the elite Top-Tier athletes that we truly are. I am setting out to change all of that.
Here are three suggestions for all my fellow Road Warriors out there to demonstrate how serious we are about our sport and command the respect we deserve.
Dress Like a Pro. If LeBron James took to the court in a pair of boat shoes, cargo shorts, and an old polo shirt, what impression would that send to the crowd? Of course the talent would still be there. But, it would be hard to see past the outfit. As Road Warriors, we have to dress in a fashion that shows the world how seriously we take our sport. For me that means, black New Balance, wired headphones, and a reflective vest. While you can have some options in this area, there is one thing that is non-negotiable: swishy pants. I’m not exactly sure what this magic material is, maybe nylon, but I do know they are necessary for all serious walkers. The noise they make, that iconic swishing sound, is the sound of the sport. It lets the world know, “we are walking here!” To paraphrase Colonel Kilgore (Robert Duvall) from Apocalypse Now, “You hear that sound? That swishing sound? It sounds like victory.”
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash Ditch the Companions. I get it. People like to go on walks with friends and loved ones, look at Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit. And, that is fine. Just recognize that romantic strolls, bipedal gossip sessions, and team building hikes are very different animals. To be a true Road Warrior, you must walk alone. With a companion, even a dog, someone else is controlling your speed, your pace, your fate. The walking must be the focus of the endeavor, not building or maintaining some relationship. To be taken seriously, we must demonstrate that we are committed to purposefully walking at a moderate, yet brisk pace, for no reason other than to walk. If we are seen chatting or joking while doing this, all credibility will be lost.
Make It Harder on Yourself. Ankle weights, hand weights, a middle schooler’s backpack, what do all of these things have in common? They make it more challenging to walk. This third point is often overlooked by my fellow would-be Road Warriors. What these people fail to realize is that it is not enough to just walk for the health benefits. You have to let the whole world see that you are out walking. Otherwise, how do they know you're not someone whose car broke down, or an accountant trying to catch a bus? Everyone knows athletic activity only counts if other people see it happening. That is why I wear a weighted vest when I go out walking. Any curious onlooker or passing driver that sees me immediately realizes they are in the presence of a true Road Warrior. A man who is giving it his all (or more likely a quality 67%) as he pushes through some moderate cardiovascular activity. Does the vest increase health benefits? Does the vest increase the likelihood of a serious injury? I simply don’t know. Sure, I could probably do some research, but that would take away precious walking time. What I do know is that wearing the vest has a positive effect on my ego. And that is more important than any potential health benefit or possible injury.
Consider my advice the next time you go for a walk. With some dedication to these ideals, we could help walking gain the respect it deserves to be treated as a top-level sport. And, when the day of respect comes, my picture will be on a Wheaties box. I will be decked out in my black New Balance, swishy pants, weighted vest, and reflective coat, showing all the world what a true Road Warrior looks like.
Operation Double Dare!
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