Revisiting: 'Tis the Season Exterior Illumination
Hello Gimme A Minute Readers,
You may have noticed I haven’t posted anything new in a while. I am taking some time to generate some new ideas (and, of course, tend to home and professional obligations). I hope to have at least two new posts in December. Until then, please enjoy this post from last year. I have spent a good portion of my Thanksgiving weekend on this year’s Christmas display!
I am a strong proponent of Christmas lights. For eleven months out of the year, I shy away from anything even bearing a passing resemblance to electrical work. Light bulbs can burn out, and I will just give my family headlamps. I will have my children walk around the house like coal miners, rather than engage with an electrical socket. But, once that Thanksgiving turkey is out of the oven, I am running cords and stringing lights all over my house. For one magical month, that fear of electricity goes away.
For me, exterior illumination is the reason for the Christmas season, everything else is a distant second. Not only do I take great care in my Christmas light display, but I spend countless hours driving the darkened streets in a thirty mile radius from my home examining and judging the lighting displays of others. And, I am saddened to report that exterior Christmas lights seem to be on the sharp decline as of late.
There are many possible theories as to why this may be. Perhaps, the cost of electricity in an already struggling economy is just too much for some families. Or, there are less people who celebrate Christmas. Maybe, I don’t actually have any data to back up my theory, and Christmas lights are at a normal level. However, I think we all know these possible theories are just excuses. The real reason for the lack of exterior illumination this Christmas is a lack of knowledge. I was fortunate to grow-up with a father who took his Christmas lights seriously, a real life Clark W. Griswold. As a public service during this holiday season, here are three important tips to help you get started on a life-altering journey of exterior illumination.
Get as many exterior electrical cords as you possibly can. What is the safest number of electrical cords you can run from a single outlet? I have no idea. We’ve already established that I know absolutely nothing about electricity. But, what I do know is you need a lot of cords for a proper display. If you have not done lights before, you are probably thinking, I have got a couple of fifteen foot cords that should be enough. You would be wrong. I have approximately twenty exterior extension cords of different lengths and I buy at least three more every year. These cords are not used for anything but Christmas displays and sit idle the rest of the year in my garage. This may seem like a steep investment for a relatively short usage window. But, remember, these cords are responsible for delivering the power to your lights. They are the reindeer to your Santa Claus. Without them, you are not getting anywhere.
Pick a color scheme and stick with it. If there is one thing that is currently causing me to lose sleep, it is the fact that my illuminated deer are made of bright white lights, while the majority of my display is warm-white lights. I justify it to myself by saying the deer are away from the rest of the display, so it is okay for them to “pop” differently. Deep down though, I feel the shame. I know it was an economic decision on my part (these deer were cheaper). Like the ghost of Christmas Past, these deer haunt and mock me each night. Do not put yourself in such a position. Pick a lighting scheme and stick to it. Multi-colored, warm white, bright white, choose what works for you and be extra vigilant as you purchase your lights. Mixing these different types is very challenging, and I do not recommend it to a novice. After all of your hard work, you do not want to find yourself staring out into the dark void of a December night knowing that other exterior illumination enthusiasts are driving by your home and making disparaging comments about your uneven display.
Inflatables are not a substitute for lights. I will admit that I am not a fan of exterior Christmas inflatable decorations. My reasons for this are many, but not all are relevant to this conversation. For a novice exterior illuminator, there are two key points I want to stress. First, the cost of inflatable decorations. I spend a considerable amount of time analyzing exterior Christmas decorations. Inflatables will easily run over one hundred dollars. For that price, you can get multiple strings of LED Christmas lights. Second, and more important, the convenience of inflatable decorations. They seem too easy to set up. You just take them out of the box, plug them in, and enjoy. Where is the work in that? You need to understand the real purpose of Christmas lights. You probably think it is to bring some light to the darkest time of year. And, you are wrong and that is why you do not already have lights on your house. The purpose is to prove to everyone else that you have more dedication to the Christmas Spirit than they do. You are willing to spend ridiculous amounts of time, money, and energy to prove that you are the most Cheerful and Joyous member of the neighborhood. You are a Christmas Peacock, and the lights are your feathers. There is no hard work with inflatables, and so you cannot strut around with them. Stick with the lights. Earn your Christmas arrogance.
After all this, you may be asking yourself, Are Christmas Lights really that important a part of the holiday? To that I remind you, how did the Wise Men find their way to the newborn Jesus? That is right, a star. And, what are stars but the Cosmos’ original LED string lights. Do the right thing this holiday season. Hang up some lights while there is still time. Become the Christmas Peacock you were always meant to be.