Revisiting: Young Dad/Old(er) Dad
Hello Gimme A Minute Readers,
The first post of 2024 was not supposed to be a repeat. However, as the photos above indicate, this past week were quite eventful. A tree fell in the yard (no one hurt, a sizable snowstorm, and (most fitting to this article) a back injury at the gym have all delayed the first new post of 2024.
I originally posted “Young Dad/Old(er) Dad” one year ago on January 3, 2023. It was the first post of 2023. The first new post of 2024 will be a follow-up to this piece titled, “Young Dad/Old(er) Dad: The Toddler Years.” I expect to post the new piece on Sunday January 14, 2024.
Until then, I hope you enjoy “Revisiting Young Dad/Old(er) Dad.”
There is a considerable age gap (thirteen years) between my first child and my fourth child. Of course, that means there is also a thirteen year difference between when I had my oldest child (age 29) and when I had my youngest (age 42). Over the last year, I have learned a few important things about becoming a dad (again) at a more seasoned age.
The baby does not care about your age. I am not saying this in a positive, life-affirming “the baby doesn’t care about your age, they love you anyway!” way. I am saying this in a “the baby doesn’t care about your age, because they are going to torment you relentlessly” way. Remember, babies are completely self-centered and don’t care at all about your well-being. As infants, both my oldest and my youngest were poor sleepers. The lack of sleep just hits harder in your forties. Think of infants like hangovers. Sure, they are always tough to deal with. But, it is easier to muscle through a hangover at 29, then it is at 42.
You are one movement away from an injury. The limits of your body become more prevalent in your forties. It becomes more apparent when you have over exerted yourself. Go a little too hard at the gym, and you are feeling it the next day. Listen to your knees snap, crackle, and pop any time you stand up from the sofa. Like it or not, this is a normal part of the aging process. Throw a baby into the mix, however, and you have increased your chance of injury a thousand fold. Infants and toddlers require a tremendous amount of bending and lifting. Sure, you can really be methodical about proper form at the gym. When that baby is about to pull on an electrical cord, you are lifting that kid from the ground anyway you can. Twisting, bending, and lifting with your back. Humans are capable of amazing physical feats in a moment of need. But, you are going to pay for it afterwards.
You need to at least make an effort with the young parents. Look out, here comes a group of those hip, young parents. Better bust out the skinny jeans and Ozzfest t-shirts to fit in! Just kidding, today’s young parents don’t dress like that. Or do they? Who knows? Certainly not you. You are in your forties. You were wearing JNCO jeans and Carhartt sweatshirts to parties in the woods when those parents were getting dropped off at day-care. And, in all reality, you probably don’t want to get to know those young parents. You know enough people already. For your kid’s sake, however, you have to make some effort. You might be older than the other parents, but your kid is the same age as theirs. You are going to be around these people for the next eighteen years. I am not saying you have to pretend to be young and into whatever Gen Z (or whoever) is into. Still, would it kill you to wear something other than cargo shirts and a polo shirt to the park?
I am not saying having kids in your forties is worse than having them younger, it is just different. I might be less agile than I was, but I like to think I am a little wiser. And, honestly, I appreciate the little things more now then I did thirteen years ago. At least, I think I do. Between the sleep deprivation and the two other kids between my oldest and youngest, I really do not remember thirteen years ago. I struggle just to remember what I was talking about five minutes ago. Maybe my back hurt just as much back then. Who really knows. Anyways, I need to go find one of my old Ozzfest t-shirts. I am going to hang out with some young parents at the park. It’s going to be lit. That’s something young people say, right?