Spring Cleaning
If you are a loyal reader of the Gimme A Minute Substack, then you are well aware of the dubious quality of the writing. Understandably, you may believe that I will publish whatever half-baked thoughts come into my head. The reality is, however, some of my ideas and drafts are just not suitable to be posted. Well, at least they normally would be unsuitable to post. But, we are in early April, and that means it is Spring Cleaning Time! So, in the interest of doing some spring cleaning in the Gimme A Minute writers’ room (also the family mud room), I have decided to share with you three potential posts that just didn’t make the cut.
The Gimme A Minute Reader-February Love Edition
Ultimately, the February edition of The Gimme A Minute Reader was the Presidential Edition, and it focused on the US presidency. Originally, I had intended that edition to be focused on “love.” Obviously, this was to coincide with Valentine's Day. The problem was I could not think of anything interesting to say on the subject of “love” that did not seem totally unoriginal. So, I scraped the topic and focused on something that I have lots to say about, the presidency. After all, who could resist the image of President Briden roaring up to a speech in the Bandit Firebird with Hulk Hogan’s “Real American” blaring over loudspeakers?
My one regret is that I had a great “Inspirational Quote” for the February edition focused on love: “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” This quote came from the most romantic movie of all-time, “The Princess Bride.” Moreover, the picture I put the lettering over was one that I actually took, rather than a stock photo. It killed me to see it go unused, but it just did not fit in with the Presidential Theming. However, this Spring Cleaning post gives me a chance to share it.
The Presidents Inn
After years, decades in some cases, of receiving costly Secret Service protection from the Federal Government, former presidents Carter, Clinton, Bush, and Obama decided that they will run a small country inn together in rural Virginia. They hope to offset the cost of the Secret Service agents through the profits of the inn. Styled as a 1980’s sitcom, this show would be a mixture of “Newhart” and “The Golden Girls” with some “The West Wing” thrown in for good measure.
Bill Clinton, the Blanche, would be the head of housekeeping/maintenance and would be constantly getting “frisky” with the guests. Bush, the Rose, would be the head chef with a firm no pretzels policy. Carter, the Sophia, would be the wise cracking bellhop who struggles with the luggage. Obama, the Dorothy/Dick Lousdon (Newhart) would be the manager. The four ex-presidents would bicker, but ultimately always come together to serve their guests and the American people.
The preceding two paragraph premise has lived in my head for the last several years. When I am bored, I will sometimes create scenarios, running gags, and one liners for the show. I so desperately wanted to share this with my readers that I wrote this up to include in The Gimme A Minute Reader-Presidential Edition. Unfortunately, it did really fit with the rest of the edition, and so I cut it from the final draft. Still, “The Presidents Inn” is just too great an idea to live only in my mind, and so now I share it with all of you. (Syndication fees do apply.)
Raising Nerds
I have written a bit about the overall “nerdy” atmosphere that exists in my house. This is not something that bothers me in any way. In fact, BIG SHOCK HERE, I am kind of nerdy myself. I enjoy the fact that I have kids with whom I can watch “Star Wars,” “Marvel,” and “Lord of the Rings.” Now, I will admit, some of their individual interests, like “Magic” or “D&D,” are not exactly my cup of tea. Still, I am happy they have constructive hobbies that keep them occupied and engaged.
My original intention was to write a Parent’s Guide to Raising Nerds. I was thinking this would be a multipart series. I even had the basic points for the first post titled, Raising Nerds-Three Things I Have Learned. While I still like the premise, working on it ultimately led me to writing The Nerdtown Gazette. Writing in the faux-newspaper style was different for me, and I found it to be a fun way to approach the topics. I see The Nerdtown Gazette being a semi-regular feature of The Gimme A Minute Substack. Still, I had those three things I learned about raising nerds that I wanted to share. So, here they are:
Nerdom is not a unified world. It is a wide and varied universe.
Not all nerds are nice.
Things are really nerdy and annoying only if you’re not into them.
This is a topic I am going to continue to write about, so who knows, maybe these ideas will find new life in a letter article.
As a writer and reformed English teacher, the process of writing fascinates me. Whenever I set pen to paper or click away on my keyboard, that is time well-spent. Even if I do not use the writing, it helps me find my way to something I can post. The best writing advice I ever heard came from Billy Crystal in the classic movie, Throw Mama from the Train. And so, since I have no strong way to end this post, I will leave you with that advice. “A writer writes, always.”