The Oracle of Legoland
I am not a financial advisor (obviously). This is for purely entertainment purposes, and is not investment advice or strategy.
I recently read an article in “The Guardian” with the headline, “Investing in Lego more lucrative than gold, study suggests.” Read may be a strong word, as it implies I reached the end of the article. Even skimmed may hold a bit too strong an implication for the work I did. But, I peruse the headline. And, that headline told me that I am a financial genius.
You see, I am heavily invested in the Brick Market. (I am going out on a limb here and guessing that is what the Lego economy is referred to.) While the rest of you have been investing in meme stocks, mining bitcoin, and minting NFTs, I have been steadily amassing a veritable fortune in colorful plastic bricks. I am like the Warren Buffet of Lego. And, given my status as the Oracle of Legoland, I feel compelled to share a little of my Lego financial wisdom. Here are my top three tips for acquiring a fortune in Legos.
Have an Acquire and Hold Philosophy
Like Warren Buffet, I subscribe to an acquire and hold philosophy when it comes to Lego. I follow this rule of thumb for one key reason: I have four sons. Once acquired, my boys would regard getting rid of any Legos as a capital offense. The mere thought of parting with even a single brick is enough to send my household into a panic not rivaled since the Wall Street Crash of 1929. There would be a run on all the buckets, bins, and shelves containing our stockpile of Legos. In an attempt to hide other precious bricks from being lost, my sons would resort to hiding Legos in every nook and cranny of my home. The ensuing chaos would surely result in a great depression for me and my wife (too soon?).
Therefore, the only sensible approach to my Lego portfolio is an acquire and hold philosophy. Just stacking Lego set upon Lego set, until you have to resort to another Scandinavian company, Ikea, for stylish, affordable, easy to build shelves to store these Legos upon. Now, understand, if you are a serious investor like myself, there are few real storage options for your holdings. Theoretically, you could rent space in a storage unit to store your Legos. However, given that my children equivocate money placed into their bank accounts as theft, you can imagine how this would go over. Additionally, paying for a storage unit would be expensive and would serve as a de facto service fee for your Lego Fund. Therefore, the only reasonable option is store them Scrooge McDuck-style in a giant home vault (or playroom) dedicated solely to the Legos.
Understand, like Scrooge, you will be forced on a daily basis to swim through seas of Legos to live your life. You must accept the fact that this storage option comes at a personal cost. One day you will likely drown in an enormous pile of red, yellow, and green bricks in your rumpus room. But, take comfort in the fact that as your hand, uselessly clutching a bright orange brick separator, slips beneath the waves of Legos, you will be at peace. Investing in Lego more lucrative than gold, study suggests. Investing in Lego more lucrative than gold, study suggests. You will mutter this mantra as you crossover into Lego Valhalla.
Keep a Diversified Portfolio
Again, sticking with tried and tested financial strategies is always wise, whether you are investing in stocks or Legos. A diversified Lego portfolio helps to ensure that you are not so heavy in one sector of the market that you miss other opportunities for growth, while also hedging yourself against crashes in other areas.
Again, my children have forced Lego diversification upon my holdings. As they are widely inconsistent creatures who are generally caught by the whims of something shiny and new, we have a wide array of sets. I have a little something from almost everything in the Lego catalog. From the classic style Lego city, to mostly forgotten Lego Chima, to the crossover hits like Lego Star Wars, almost all corners of the Lego universe are represented in my portfolio. This adds a level of diversity and balance to my Lego fund.
Of course, I would strongly recommend against creating a complete hodgepodge mess of your collection. You will likely have some key areas of interest, the medieval sets, Lego architecture, perhaps you're one of those Lego Technic weirdos, who am I to judge? By all means, go strong in your prime areas. Just make sure that you add that necessary diversification. I recommend following this breakdown:
50% Primary areas of interest (Star Wars; Ninjago; City, etc…)
30% Adjacent areas of interest (If you like Star Wars, get some classic space sets and some Marvel sets)
20% Outside of your comfort zone (This may even include some Lego Technic, even if you are a relatively normal person)
Like a good BBQ rub, your Lego set will be mostly brown sugar and paprika, but it is those other little flavors that will really make it standout. (Unlike a good BBQ rub, Legos are a severe choking hazard, so get them out of your mouth.)
Don’t Overlook the Basics
Old-school financial advisors would probably recommend that you have some boring, but safe, traditional assets like savings accounts, rather than putting all of your money into the latest crypto-coin. In a similar vein, you should be sure to include the basic bricks in your collection. Sure, the 680 piece Disney’s mini The Haunted Mansion set garnered all the excitement and interest in my house when it arrived, but there is still a place for the large yellow box of classic Lego bricks. Not a pre-styled set, just an assortment of red, yellow, green, and gray bricks in a variety of sizes. These provide a safe learning tool for experimenting with the bricks. They are also a valuable resource for lost bricks when remaking sets. Certainly, these are not the sexiest of acquisitions, but they are the mutual funds of your Lego portfolio. Steady, boring, and made up of a bunch of pieces of other things that don’t really make any one thing.
Speaking of the basics, hold onto those direction booklets. It may surprise you to learn that a broken Lego set without the proper directions is just a pile of Legos. Sure, in theory you could build a complex Lego set like the 6020 piece Lego Hogwarts Castle without instructions. But, let’s be honest, it’s not possible for you to do it. Because if you could, you would be doing that right now and not reading this article. And, your parents, clutching each other with tears in their eyes, would be staring down their basement stairs at you. While you sit hunched over a table covered in Lego bricks, a single light bulb dangling above your head provides the only buffer against the dark. Why?, your father would utter. Why did he walk away from his mechanical engineering degree to build Legos in my basement? His voice cracking as he spoke. So, unless that describes you, save those instruction booklets. They are a valuable piece of the portfolio.
Conclusion
While I have no hard evidence to prove that Lego bricks are a better investment than gold, I have something better. I have a really, really strong hope and a very conscious bias to believe this is true. Afterall, I have literally thousands and thousands of Lego bricks cluttering my house, and maybe like three or four pieces of solid gold jewelry. Lego really needs to appreciate better than gold because otherwise I have made some really poor investment decisions. And, does a guy who once gambled away a few hundred dollars with the sole aim of getting a free Paris Casino Resort t-shirt (retail value $19.95) seem like someone who makes poor financial decisions? I thought not. Consider this, if there were a complete economic collapse, what would you rather be in possession of, a few gold bricks or 7181 Lego bricks that make the Ultimate Collectors Series Star Wars Tie Interceptor? The choice could not be more obvious.
Lego financial freedom, here we come!