The Relentless Questioner
Like everyone else, all kids ask questions. Questions are good. They help us to gain new knowledge, understand our environment, and forge connections with other people. Kids ask questions, and that is a good thing.
Some kids, however, relentlessly ask questions. I mean relentlessly. This is not as good, at least for you. Unless you have a child who relentlessly asks questions, you cannot fully appreciate how mentally taxing this is. As I am blessed to have a relentless questioner in my home, I have learned a few things about dealing with this species of child.Â
Stick to your story.- The relentless questioner is going to ask you the same questions over and over and over. Stick to your story and give consistent answers. If your favorite color was blue yesterday, it has to be blue today, tomorrow, and until the sun consumes the earth. Any deviation from this story will only result in more questions. Questions that probe into why you changed your answer. Unending questions that will make you question whether blue ever really was your favorite color, or whether colors exist at all. The mental toll is not worth it. Remember, the relentless questioner is not trying to learn about you. They are trying to formulate more questions to challenge the very nature of your being.
You have to have an answer for every question.-I don’t know, or I don’t have a favorite dinosaur are not acceptable answers to the relentless questioner. All questions must have a defined answer. The relentless questioner is hard-wired to single mindedly pursue the answer. They are not dissuaded by the fact that you had never once pondered the question being asked, nor that you have so little interest in the question that you can’t form a coherent thought, nor that you have just answered thirty-eight previous questions. When asked, each question looms large, all encompassing in the mental and physical space of the relentless questioner. There is no moving on, physically or mentally, until it is answered. So, do yourself a favor and answer the question. But, remember your answer in case you are ever asked that question again.
You must sacrifice those you love to the relentless questioner.-One of the most important and rewarding aspects of life is seeking out and forging relationships with other people. I hope you have people in your life with whom you share long-lasting, supportive, and loving bonds. But, you must also be willing to sacrifice those people to the relentless questioner. The relentless questioner is an indifferent force, neither good nor evil, but it is unquenchable. Once in their grasp, you will not be able to satisfy its questioning. No amount of answers will ever be sufficient. The relentless questioner will keep at you until all words, all breath, all spark of life has been drained from you. The situation becomes primordial, and you must ultimately focus on your own survival. You may not sleep well afterwards, but a quick Go ask your mom that one? or , I wonder what papa thinks about… may just save your sanity. You must be willing to throw someone else into the grasp of the relentless questioner.
A child’s curiosity is a blessing. Their desire to learn everything about the world is truly remarkable. But, you are not a child. You are an adult. A tired, worn-down adult who just wants two minutes of peace and quiet in this house! You are no more equipped to handle the relentless questioner than you are to withstand a CIA interrogation. Given that you should not do anything to dampen your child’s inquisitive nature, you must approach this situation carefully. You're not trying to alter them, you are just trying to weather the storm. These tips should help you to hold until they reach early adolescence. At which point, they will immediately cease to look at you as the source of all knowledge, and will see you as a hopeless idiot with no wisdom of any sort. They won’t spend the day asking you questions, and will actively avoid trying to get your input on anything. Then, you can start asking them the questions.